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Friday, April 01, 2005


Professor Massad Unveils New Course Offering . . . Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Israel

Professor Joseph Massad of Columbia University, seeking to assuage the sensibilities of his Zionist students and Project David auditors, revealed today the syllabus for his revised course, formerly Palestinian and Israeli Politics and Societies. Seeking a new beginning Massad's class sports a new moniker, Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Israel, Welcome Ya Israel.

Massad will definitively show that there is no such thing as a Palestinian.
According to Massad, the first week of the course will focus on how those steely Sabras "made the desert bloom," thus compelling Arabs to swarm the "land without a people for a people without a land."

"We Arabs have TWENTY-TWO countries that we can live in," Massad sagely proffers. With the zealotry of a reformed Arab, Massad continues, "I will show that even though we'd only been in Palestine for twenty years before Israel's Independence Day, we probably could have stayed if we hadn't listened to the Nazi sympathizing Mufti who told us all to leave." Massad says that the course, which he plans to enhance with a showing of Exodus, will also show how tiny Israel put down hoardes of invading Arab armies in 1948, again in 1967, and how Arabs eschewed many offers of the olive branch.

For one unit special emphasis will be given to the "Arab" mind. "I am particularly excited about this part," enthused Massad. On board for guest speakers are Raphael Patai, author of the seminal Arab Mind and the Professor's new friends, Middle East experts Daniel Pipes, Bernard Lewis, and to provide a little ethnic diversity, Joseph Farah of worldnetdaily.

Friday nights Professor Massad will provide Israeli specialities, hummus and falafel

Expectations: Students will be assessed on the following:

Essay Why do all Arabs lie?

Multiple Choice Golda Meir, the great Israeli leader once said, "I can forgive the Arabs for killing our children, but I can't forgive them for forcing us to kill their children."

Why do the Arabs wanna give Golda such grief? a. they hate their kids b.they use their children as shields because they're cowards c. they hate Jews because they're Jews d. they're not like us e. all of the above

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Israel
Instructor: Professor Joseph Massad
Required Readings:
The New Republic
The New York Sun
Little Green Footballs
William Safire
Charles Krauthammer
Mona Charen
George Will
Martin Kramer

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